Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Void

The Void

“It’s an ache that is hard to not feel, and most don’t realize that they are feeling it until it has worn away at the defenses that need to be in place to do something when things crumble. When you let go of what you own and want, you aren’t given it all back eventually. You either take it back, or become okay with not having it anymore.” John sighed, took a sip of coffee, and continued. “The latter is preferable, but most people take the former path. I am one who has not become what he thought he would be, but knows that he is good and is who he is, and wants to become more acquainted with a 100% joy in what is, and let go what was, may be, should be, etc. The problem is the Void.”

Steve looked away from the spot of grime on the counter he was pondering, and turned to John. “The Void?”

“Yeah. The Void is where we let ourselves slip into when we forget to remember who we are.”

Steve leaned a little closer. “And who are we?”

John’s brow creased in confusion. “Well, we are all human. Almost and abundantly, I guess, would be the correct answer for that type of question.”

“What happens when we lose sight of that?”

John stood, went to the coffee pot, refilled his cup, and sat back down. “We don’t cease to be human, if that’s what you’re asking. We do have a harder time being human though.”

“In what way?” Steve leaned back, and lit a cigarette. He knew John hated it, but this was taking too long.

“Friendship is the first to suffer, of course. Not losing friends, but distance.”


“Here, I’ll show you.” John grabbed his 9 mm pistol off the table, and stuffed it into his inside jacket pocket.

“Okay fine.” Steve stood, and put his coat on. He followed John out of the house, and onto the street.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Cactus Juice Love

This bubble gum and cactus juice love
Is a love that spins
Sending sparks and bits away
And off into stratosphere
To lay waste to the surface
Of the moon
Craters that look like clouds that look like bunnies that look like clouds
That form from…vapor…?
Washing us like no shower can
No shower can

You’re something that I never expected
Sudden and insubstantial and more real
Than my own blood and skin and blemishes and stretch marks
A ghost wafting through my past
Seen only when I don’t look directly
A ghost that, when I sleep,
Enters my mind and plays there
Using needs as a swing set
Wants as tetherball
Fears as a slide
Hopes as monkey bars

You are
You are saffron and doughnuts and cat hair
Something that rages as rivers
Frothing, killing some, housing many
Canoes and bears and skinny dippers
You raise people up to new heights
Sometimes the victim/victor of pyrrhic victory
But constant, cool and preferable

I am sending you constant brain waves
Hoping that the theories on telepathy
Are false
And you can feel me wanting you
At all times
And you can feel me needing you
At all times
My eyes water and temples throb
From the strain
Of this broadcast, a channel tuned
To your unique frequency
To your beautiful frequency
To your unforgettable frequency

I will always have these broad arms and shoulders
To cover and create barriers far from the physical
Continuing on to, and coming from the physical
The phoenix rising
Shaking off ashes, deciding to only do it once
It may be a new beginning, but the pain
May not be worth it again
Braking the train that continues unending
Through barriers and people and hot dog stands
Killing and destroying and STOP

The point is that I love you
Words are fine, but stop short
Of how my breath catches when we kiss
How my heart beats when to touch me
How my eyes lose focus when you sigh
How I rise whenever you fix
Those deep and gorgeous cerulean eyes
On mine

The point is that I love you