Saturday, March 19, 2011


Seventeen signs of life
Found on a carbon-rich asteroid

Which one of them
Is the one which/who will prove
Once and for all that we are
Alone/not alone?

When is the news report going to happen
Between 2 1/2 Men
And Dancing With the Stars?
That 80% of the people watching
"Ugh. Science news. What else is on?"
Will turn from and ignore?

2% left will be excited
In the name of science

8% will post on Twitter
About the power of god's will

9% won't understand the ramifications

And only 1%
Hundreds maybe
Will feel their lives changed
Kids deciding to be physicists or astronauts
Or zealots fighting with signs and bile
Against science and logic and fact

These beings will not think
Will not be truly sentient
The ones in the asteroid
Unaware of what they are doing to us
Standing no trial for disrupting the peace
They simply will be
They won't

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Void

The Void

“It’s an ache that is hard to not feel, and most don’t realize that they are feeling it until it has worn away at the defenses that need to be in place to do something when things crumble. When you let go of what you own and want, you aren’t given it all back eventually. You either take it back, or become okay with not having it anymore.” John sighed, took a sip of coffee, and continued. “The latter is preferable, but most people take the former path. I am one who has not become what he thought he would be, but knows that he is good and is who he is, and wants to become more acquainted with a 100% joy in what is, and let go what was, may be, should be, etc. The problem is the Void.”

Steve looked away from the spot of grime on the counter he was pondering, and turned to John. “The Void?”

“Yeah. The Void is where we let ourselves slip into when we forget to remember who we are.”

Steve leaned a little closer. “And who are we?”

John’s brow creased in confusion. “Well, we are all human. Almost and abundantly, I guess, would be the correct answer for that type of question.”

“What happens when we lose sight of that?”

John stood, went to the coffee pot, refilled his cup, and sat back down. “We don’t cease to be human, if that’s what you’re asking. We do have a harder time being human though.”

“In what way?” Steve leaned back, and lit a cigarette. He knew John hated it, but this was taking too long.

“Friendship is the first to suffer, of course. Not losing friends, but distance.”


“Here, I’ll show you.” John grabbed his 9 mm pistol off the table, and stuffed it into his inside jacket pocket.

“Okay fine.” Steve stood, and put his coat on. He followed John out of the house, and onto the street.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Cactus Juice Love

This bubble gum and cactus juice love
Is a love that spins
Sending sparks and bits away
And off into stratosphere
To lay waste to the surface
Of the moon
Craters that look like clouds that look like bunnies that look like clouds
That form from…vapor…?
Washing us like no shower can
No shower can

You’re something that I never expected
Sudden and insubstantial and more real
Than my own blood and skin and blemishes and stretch marks
A ghost wafting through my past
Seen only when I don’t look directly
A ghost that, when I sleep,
Enters my mind and plays there
Using needs as a swing set
Wants as tetherball
Fears as a slide
Hopes as monkey bars

You are
You are saffron and doughnuts and cat hair
Something that rages as rivers
Frothing, killing some, housing many
Canoes and bears and skinny dippers
You raise people up to new heights
Sometimes the victim/victor of pyrrhic victory
But constant, cool and preferable

I am sending you constant brain waves
Hoping that the theories on telepathy
Are false
And you can feel me wanting you
At all times
And you can feel me needing you
At all times
My eyes water and temples throb
From the strain
Of this broadcast, a channel tuned
To your unique frequency
To your beautiful frequency
To your unforgettable frequency

I will always have these broad arms and shoulders
To cover and create barriers far from the physical
Continuing on to, and coming from the physical
The phoenix rising
Shaking off ashes, deciding to only do it once
It may be a new beginning, but the pain
May not be worth it again
Braking the train that continues unending
Through barriers and people and hot dog stands
Killing and destroying and STOP

The point is that I love you
Words are fine, but stop short
Of how my breath catches when we kiss
How my heart beats when to touch me
How my eyes lose focus when you sigh
How I rise whenever you fix
Those deep and gorgeous cerulean eyes
On mine

The point is that I love you

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

I Linger

I linger

I linger

I linger far longer than is necessary

I linger perchance to catch sight

Of milky thigh and calf
Of sinuous and sensual hands
Of ice blue eyes, ladybug freckles, full lips
Of laughter at what I say

Of closeness when you can touch
Of deep words when you can speak
Of knowing looks when you see
Of shared scents when you can smell
And sweet textures when you can taste

I don’t know from one moment to the next
When your senses
Will decide to work for me
When they will open themselves up
And let me in
Or close shut like reinforced lead gates
Trapping me outside
Yes where there is sun, moon, stars
Wind, water, earth
Gaiety, mirth, love

It encompasses me and fills me up
I welcome it and am uplifted
Showered with all life offers

But I enjoy it alone

I revel in it, eyes sparkling
Reflecting the fireworks back at themselves
Turning over every experience
Like a new and exciting taste
Feeling the cracks in the world
Prying them apart, diving in
Cold rush of frigid water of release
Deep jungle unexplored, hacking through
Exotic and fresh and boisterous
I turn to include you in the wonder

You’re not there
I know you’re not
Knew you wouldn’t be
Know you may never be

But the land rover
Space ship
Air plane
Speed boat
Old sedan
New sedan
Hang glider
Bob sled
Is built for two

As much as I can drive alone
Find my way
Make it to the other side
I need someone to navigate this life with
To point out what I miss
To change with me
So I may do the same

The impression in the seat
Is yours
It will never flatten out
No matter how many miles
I put on it, on myself

It is absolutely, completely and ridiculously

Friday, September 17, 2010

Rhubarb and Honeysuckle

Rhubarb and Honeysuckle

Every word waterfalls and crashes
Sprinkling little letters littering shores
Wading out to grab them I begin
Begin to form new words
Different than the old ones I threw
So eloquently down and splash and cold
Words that explain it all
That verbosely interpret how I feel
What I’m thinking
How it really is
But should have been
And wasn’t

I bring the words to your house
The mailbox stands there, red and tilted
I walk up and notice the flag is up
I knew it would be
But I had to try

With shuddering fingers I open it
Inside is a folded scrap of paper
I pick it up, gnashing my tongue with yellow teeth
Trembling breath and knocking knees
Things a body does
It doesn’t want to do

Three words bellow up at me
Even though they are written
In small, untidy and unassuming scrawl

“It’s too late”

I sob and almost release my words
Back into obscurity and loss
But no
No I will not let go again
I fix my face and my flaw
I run up to the door
I know you are home
My legs quicksand because my brain
It says no
It says it won’t help
It won’t do anything
It says so many things full of no and not

My heart is a tiny prickling voice
That I have to strain everything to hear
It pipes up one single word


So I do
I knock, and you check the peephole
But you open the door anyway
You peer out, not angry, just ready
Ready to answer everything
Like my brain is, with no
And you should
And it is and it isn’t otherwise
But my heart is now yelling as I bring my eyes to yours

Up to placid blue, light sky after lunch
Or before dusk
That curled strawberry mouth
Dripping with the best dreams I have ever had
Dark hair climbing down
Then up into my ears
To muffle all but these words
These words I am about to say
I take a short breath
My lungs have all but collapsed
I pull in as much as I can
And say

“I know you fear and so do I
I am afraid
I am here and nowhere
I am within me and it is good
It has been too long and not long enough
Peace comes by inches
Propelled by love and hope
For ourselves
For each other
It is silly
It is so very very silly

But it’s time to let go of fear sweetheart
It seems ridiculous
But most of the things worth doing are
Hey beautiful
Let’s get ridiculous
Just you and me”

And then you breathe in deeply

And then you………



Your eyes are cerulean cotton sheets
Swaying clothes-line slowly
On hot enough days
Their ripple cause by brushing hands
Of warm wind
Rattling slight opening and closing
Soft scent of soap and rain

Your fingers are piano keys
Ivory and smooth
When pressed and interlaced with mine
Music sometimes flat
Sometimes sharp
But always beautiful lilts and clamors

For hips are rolling hills
The kind that drop your stomach going down
Rise it going up
Leave you breathless on top
Satin grass to lie in
Close and complete
Undulating, beckoning, laughing

Your name is a killing word
Destroying the want to wake
Obliterating the need to get up
From next to you
Tearing down my defenses
Squeezing out salt tears
Tearing into my skin to let the sun in

The most amazing curves
That travel from back of neck and under arms
Far down to tips of toes
Roller-coastering fast and fire and free
Ripping out and in then out
Down to hungry and hot and wet
And moving past to taut
To white pearl
Watermelon and strawberries and whipped cream

Your song causes ruptures in everywhere
Makes places loosen and relax
Others tighten and rise
None stay the same
They all curl, shift, twist

The completeness of you
Is vast and incomprehensible sometimes
But real and same and enveloping


Monday, September 13, 2010


The story is awesome. The poem was begun (barely) about 4 months ago, and life happened. Now I have dug it up, and added new things to it. Almost changed it completely as well. Enjoy!


I Want To Believe That The Truth Is Out There

Zornak turned a few dials, and his personal starship began to power up. “I swear, Klardun. The Great Crystal appeared to me in a dream. I need you to believe me.”
“Well, I don’t.” Klardun snorted. “The only reason I am coming on this ridiculous journey is to show you that you are very wrong.”
“You’ll see.” Zornak’s brow creased as he remotely removed the docking clamps from his ship, and begin to raise the craft into the air. “The crystal told me there was other life out there, and showed me how to get to it…I think.”
“Wait,” Klardun turned quickly. “You think!? So you’re even more lost than completely? That’s just great, Zornak!”
Zornak couldn’t help but frown at himself and Klardun. “I’m sure. I know it was a dream. Our logic sages would tell me that it means nothing, but the few mystics left would urge me to follow it.” He accelerated even more, hit the thrust button, and they shot out of the atmosphere, and into the dull, dotted black of space. “If I didn’t do this, I would spend the rest of my larval stage wondering if it was actually true or not.”
“So your logic processes are going well then. I thought you might have lost your minds, but you seem to be functioning well.” Klardun sat down next to Zornak and put two of his four long, green arms on his shoulder. “We have been friends since the birthing core when they accidentally sent both of us to the same brood drone. I will follow you anywhere, but I do not want you to be disappointed.”
“I know. Thank you, Klardun.” Zornak switched on the automatic pilot and trained an eye on his friend. “A part of me expects to be let down, and another part knows I am crazy and is trying desperately to notify the rest of me. Yet…yet the largest part of me, down to my hearts and stomach, knows that I am right. Knows that we will find dumb, but alive and flourishing someones out there.”
“The Great Crystal told you this, right?”
“Yes, you know that.”
“In a dream?”
“Yes. Why are you repeating your questions?”
“Just making sure I have it right.”
Zornak sighed and stood up. He placed all his hands on the back of a chair. “Look. Logic plus science plus common sense tells us that we cannot be the only beings in the universe.”
Sighing himself, Klardun leaned back in his own chair and put two hands behind his head. “That is correct, but it has been a millennium (give or take) since we took to space, and none have been found.”
“We have not searched everywhere.”
Klardun scratched his neck, and glanced out the window. “That is true, but we have searched many systems.”
“Once again, not all. I am going to look behind. Unthink, and go completely against how we have been taught to think. Unravel my own mind to make a straight line to the truth.”
Klardun sat up. “How will you do this?”
Zornak chuckled, “Search a place that our scientists have decided could not possibly support life.”
“And where would that be?”
“In a system with only one medium-sized star. Small, really.” Zornak crossed his arms and smirked at Klardun.
“Impossible. Absolutely impossible. Our physicists have proven that life can only exist in a binary system with large suns.”
Zornak threw up his hands. “Yes, and they got that information how? By finding a bunch of life in these binary systems? No one or thing has been found! They have only searched where they have decided life could exist, without trying the possibility of something ridiculous.”
Klardun stood and advanced on Zornak. “Ridiculous is not scientific.”
“Of course it isn’t if you think of it in those terms and always trust the textbooks.” Zornak stepped back. “Thousands of years ago when scientists found that everything comes from the very small, and that most of the universe is made up of nothing, it was ridiculous. Preposterous, inconceivable, and impossible to everyone, but it was proven right. Space travel was once thought of as impossible, and now we are bending space to our will to get somewhere millions of miles away very quickly. If you tweak your mindset, you will see that ridiculous things are proven more often than they are disproven.”
Klardun opened his mouth, then closed it, raised a hand, dropped it, and finally slumped back in his chair. “You are a logic student as well as I. How did you change your mind to think in such a way?”
Zornak came to Klardun and placed a hand on his shoulder. “My very best of friends. All I did was believe. I did nothing more or less than believe that all the ridiculous things could be real. That spark is what drives me, compels me, and it makes itself grow with passion and a fervor for the truth.”
Klardun looked up at Zornak, “You should have been a poet.”
“No thank you. It does not pay nearly as well.”
Klardun smiled, but it was soon gone. He looked long and hard at his friend. He licked his lips and took a deep breath. “Okay,” he said slowly. “Okay, Zornak. I am now with you in this all the way.” He raised a hand. Zornak took it, and pulled Klardun to his feet. “Show me these awkward pink primates you saw in a dream.”
Zornak smiled again. “I will do so much more than that, friend. Buckle up, Klardun, because we’re about to get ridiculous.”

Monday, August 30, 2010



Absolutely Not
Not a careen but a gradual gradient
Sloping, some y=mx+b
Finding "m"
Trying to make it zero
Attempting a confusing piece of math
That is out of reach
That I will never understand
Or conceptualize, puzzle out, simply know
The fact, core idea, absolute and honest
Failing at figuring a googolplex
How to construct a telescope
Or the behavior patterns of the Amazonian Capuchin

I am an Amazonian Capuchin
Family-oriented, quick, smart, adept at adapting
But still a monkey
Not an evolved form
(No offense meant to Capuchins and Capuchin enthusiasts)
A cute monster
In the way very unassuming,
Immature and childish things
Are cute

Forcing a balance between when to explode
And when to implode
If I can do both at once
Perhaps they will cancel out
And nothing will happen
I hope for nothing
I hope for no thing
I hope for no happening

I don't pray because
(Once again, no offense)
No one is listening

Besides a soon-to-be-swatted fly
My own mind
And the government

I try not to entreat, beg, grovel
To the invisible
To loose atoms
The universe is composed chiefly
Of nothing
Of no thing

I am far more dense
Than the little moving bits of fluff
Of no consequence
Of ignored and disregarded invisible
Not intangible, but invisible
Not insubstantial. Invisible.
Not shimmery, corner-of-eye maybe
Fucking invisible

Back to math please
Back to simple
Back to blue ribbon, honor roll, first chair
Easy and overachieving and weightless
Back to what I wanted it to be
But it is not, and won't be
And someday
I hope to be okay with that

I am An Amazonian Capuchin