Friday, March 12, 2010

Poems from my Poetry class

HAIKU WA II DESU NE


A shivering cool
Window open, frost and snow
Under four blankets


Chirp and squeak, bubble
Cold run off swims and bright baths
The sun comes again


Trudge blazing sweating
Frisbee played amidst the best
My freckles explode


The silence before
Sleep takes over, dull, but sweet
Moving from into



How to Speak To Your Garden Variety Visiting (Not Invading) Extra Terrestrial Being Capable of Understanding English or Other Forms of Earthen Language



The first thing to do, as with any guest, is offer them something to eat
Unless you’re worried YOU may be a potential choice
Then simply offer them water, or maybe a diet coke
You know, something safe and slightly non-committal

Do ask them where they are from
What the weather is like
The composition of their atmosphere
What the opposite sex or sexes from their planet are like
As pertains to their preference

You might ask what they want to know about Earth
Unless they have studied us for some time
Then you can leave that question out
If they tell you something you don’t like, keep it to yourself
Nod and agree with everything they say
You can complain to your friends later

Do tell them that the feature that stands out the most looks simply elegant
Ask who does their tentacles, and compliment their shape
And how long they are
Let them know that you think four arms is the only way to go
And of course you’d be happier with a dorsal horn

Do NOT tell them you come in peace
Tell them you come in cars or bicycles
You know, the classic ice-breaker joke
If they are as smart as they should be
They’ll appreciate it

Accept a tour of their ship
But not a ride
Unless it’s a joy ride

Make sure to inquire as to the Ph balance
Of any drink they might offer
But make it sound like a question of interest
You don’t want to offend

If they compliment any Earth technology
Walk softly
It’s hard to tell if an alien is being sarcastic
But if it seems like they’re not
Wave a hand, and tell them it’s not that great
Say it must be much less advanced than what they have

Finally, say farewell in the manner they do
No matter how uncomfortable
It may make certain sensitive areas of your body
Wave, smile and wish them a safe trip
Come back soon!
Don’t forget to write!
And you’ll finally be off the hook



My Green Hoodie:

My green Malibu hoodie
Is gone
Forever somewhere else
Lost in time
Perhaps sucked into a portal
Now worn
Enjoyed and loved
By some alternate-Earth Kevin
With perfect eyesight
A bit shorter
Without a sister
Actually done with college

My hoodie
Was a blanket of sorts
Toasty and protective
Shimmering armor
Great for battling Tucson winters
Never even close
To acceptable
For a Wyoming Spring

This hoodie
Stolen from Wal-Mart
In youthful destruction
Never regretted
A perfect pilfered prize

Saturated
At times
With cigarette and pot smoke
The scent of a woman
Man, both
Or sweat and beer

My hoodie was debated upon
Hated occasionally
“Take it off!”
“Throw it away!”
Ripped and faded
Multiple thumb holes
Destroyed and re-made

My hoodie meant
Worlds
And now not much at all
I have a new one
Have had others
Will have more
But that fucking hoodie
Was one in a million

2 comments:

  1. Kevin: The extra-terrestrial poem was filled with your wry humor. "Compliment their tentacles." Funny.

    You obviously loved your green hoodie. It was your trademark.

    I like these lines:

    My hoodie
    Was a blanket of sorts
    Toasty and protective
    Shimmering armor
    Great for battling Tucson winters
    Never even close
    To acceptable
    For a Wyoming Spring

    Thanks for sharing, bud.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm sad about your hoodie. What a lovely poem. <3

    I love the haikus.
    Trudge blazing sweating
    Frisbee played amidst the best
    My freckles explode

    The ET poem is cute and amusing. Very Kevin.

    ReplyDelete